I recently read an interesting article in the Harvard Business Review by a professor at Northeastern University. Professor David DeSteno has performed research and written on the topic of trustworthiness. In his HBR article “Who Can You Trust?” he gives examples and applies his findings to situations where organizations are making deals with vendors or partners. In turn, I am attempting to apply his insights to myself and my coaching clients’ behaviors and experiences, and hope you can use them with your work. Are we trustworthy, and if so what does that look like to those we interact with?
“Integrity is not a stable trait” was a thought-provocative research conclusion. Just because you are righteous at home or in one office instance, doesn’t mean you will always do the right thing. We’ve all seen the church-going, PTA President, model parent, who then seems to have no qualms cheating on his or her taxes, or going into the office and “doing what had to be done to make the deal.” When it comes to trusting people, I asked myself do I generalize and give them my trust when one action does not necessarily predict another.
The temptation, which appears to afflict many people, is when there is a short-term gain to be had. Do we over promise, knowing we probably won’t deliver on time or in budget, hoping things will work out or be forgotten? Justifying our actions with the statement, “I told them what they wanted to hear.” Is our truthfulness convenient to the circumstance?
An important element in trustful behavior is whether we think we are going to be caught. We all hope we would behave in an identical way, whether someone was looking or not, I surely try. However, on examination, do we really? I actually believe in the workplace most people do work regardless of who is observing. Granted, if there was no accountability, that might change, but in general, people are responsible. As a leader, I thought I instinctively knew who would slack off if I turned my back but the research says I might be wrong.
If you trust me as a manager, then you can assume I will make a workforce decision that is fair and appropriate for the company but not necessarily the easiest. Yet, we have all witnessed instances where a top-heavy organization chooses to RIF line people, rather than disrupt the inner circle whose reduction in force would have had an immediate impact on the bottom line. Have we taken the quickest route rather than the honorable road to a decision?
DeSteno’s research shows the influence status and power have on people’s decision to act in an untrustworthy manner. It may, or may not, surprise you the more power a person feels and the more status they have, the more likely we can predict actions that are not trustworthy, particularly with those who rank below them. That’s a frightening thought considering the potential for harm. How do we inspire, influence, and motivate others when in fact, our actions are not honorable? There’s a disconnect for me but also a realization that being strictly success-focused can alter intentions and actions.
The author warns us confidence can mask distrustful behavior and we are particularly vulnerable to believing someone who comes across as knowing and experienced. A great risk here is in the interview process when the candidate presents as a perfect fit, maybe too perfect. On the other hand, integrity doesn’t necessarily mean the person is qualified.
DeSteno gives high marks to the use of gut feelings but also notes what we think is a gut feeling might be unconscious use of cues. He writes certain postures, such as leaning back, are a “tell.” Sheryl Sandberg was literally right when she called for women to “Lean In” because it fosters confidence in the observer. He also notes touching your face, folding your arms, and playing with your hands are other signals someone may not be worthy of your trust.
What fosters trustworthiness? An obvious, but sometimes difficult one is face-to-face contact. The more you interact with individuals, the more likely they are to trust you. It speaks to networking in person, walking around your place of work and seeing others, and meeting with customers. There is evidence generosity, particularly on the part of those in charge, breeds loyalty and with that, trust. I see generosity as being generous with time, suggestions, sharing of knowledge, even compensation. As with any engagement, finding common ground between you and your boss, colleagues, and clients helps set the stage for trusting. If I don’t know where you are coming from, I am less likely to give the time or attention to build a relationship.
What doesn’t work are threats — threats of punishment, abandonment, or reprisal. No one ever trusted someone more because of these actions.
Gaining and maintaining trust in all of our various roles and locales is an essential part of getting things done, in a positive and sustainable way. These were a few insights and suggestions.
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