Skills for Creating a Collaborative Team

Collaboration often ranks last or at least close to the bottom for many people’s way of dealing with conflict and getting things done. When trying to build a collaborative team environment, collaboration should be the top priority.

I administer the TKI (Thomas-Kilmann) Conflict Mode Instrument to all incoming executive coaching clients. Simply stated, it measures what behaviors you are likely, or unlikely, to apply when handling conflict. The goal is to have a toolbox of choices, so you can match the right approach to each situation. One of those choices is collaboration, “an individual’s attempt to work with the other person to find a solution that fully satisfies the concerns of both.” Sounds great. Yes?

So why do so few people choose to collaborate?

The simple answer is collaboration is often time consuming and requires more effort.

The more accurate reason is people don’t know how to collaborate.

In the Harvard Business Review’s article “Cracking the Code of Sustained Collaboration — Six New Tools for Training People to Work Together Better”, behavioral scientist and Harvard professor, Francesca Gino, focuses on the skills-building necessary to collaborate instead of simply relying on good intentions or values.

The skills fall into six distinct categories of behavior. This article is the first of two and will discuss the first three categories. The last three skills will be looked at in the next issue of the Competitive Edge Report.

1. Teaching people to listen. I often say to others, “I know you’ve heard me, but did you listen to what I said?” They generally say they listened, but you know while you were talking, they were already crafting their rebuttal or defense. This one-upmanship diverts the conversation to a competition far from the topic and the potential of collaboration.

   Real listening promotes questions not just answers. It shows a greater appreciation for the thoughts and perspective of others. It requires attention to the person talking and reduces the listener’s anxiety to make the next point. It’s less competitive, more respectful, and develops trust.

   To be a better listener Gino suggests “self-checks.” That is self-monitoring your behavior when it comes to listening and talking. She also encourages people to take the opportunity to practice listening and appreciate, and use, silence.

   I often encourage executive coaching clients to post WAIT in a place they look at often, such as the corner of their monitor. WAIT stands for “Why Am I Talking?”, I believe the higher your rank in an organization, the more you should listen, the less you should speak. Unfortunately, that is rare in most organizations and prevents more junior people from sharing their thoughts. It ultimately prevents a collaborative team environment.

2. Practice Empathy. This skill requires participants to listen to the ideas of other members of the team and exclusively help them expand their thoughts and ideas. The team attempts to see and feel it from the presenter’s perspective and with a willingness to accept. It requires people to ask questions that will help the presenter think deeper or broader. The challenge is they can’t bring their perspective to the discussion but must stay with their colleague’s idea. This is difficult for many because they are so married to their point of view and come with the prejudice that everyone else is wrong or off base. That’s competitive, not collaborative.

   In a collaborative effort there is a belief that solutions come from a variety of people and places. It encourages sharing and reduces pride of authorship. It allows creativity because no thought is wrong, just maybe half-baked. In a collaborative team, members listen for what is not being said, or delivered in a tentative way, searching for any hidden or ignored red flags, or flashes of brilliance. When a final decision is made, everyone feels heard and buy-in is much more likely.

3. Make People More Comfortable with Feedback. Avoidance is one of the preferences in the TKI instrument. It is prevalent and dominant with many clients. There are times when avoiding a conflict or situation is the best choice but often it is nothing more than kicking the can down the corridor.

   Giving feedback is a skill. Some have trouble praising others, more people are challenged with having the difficult conversation (or any feedback talk). This is worth exploring in a team that’s trying to be more collaborative. “We need to be honest with one another and be open to all suggestions.”

   Avoidance occurs because workers have not experienced well-delivered feedback. It is either mean, awkward, rambling, inaccurate or all about the deliverer. It is anxiety provoking for both sides. And, in most instances, this need not be.

   In many workplaces there is very little feedback given. When it is necessary, it’s a big event. Feedback is best when shared on a regular basis. Most of it should be immediate. It is about the behavior of the individual and the work they produced, not about them as a person. The kids in my extended family repeat back to me something I say often, “I love you but I’m not liking your behavior right about now.” They smile and whisper, “I know.” It applies to employees.

   In a high functioning collaborative team environment people give one another feedback as a way of helping and improving. The feedback giver adding to the presenter’s idea is important to the team’s success and is a requirement in the feedback process. Members need to share whether the feedback given was useful or tell what is missing, confusing, or inaccurate. It is done in the spirit of making things easier, more authentic, and ultimately improving. It takes practice and a willingness to accept and share.

   Giving feedback is a regular topic in coaching sessions for all the reason mentioned above. Role playing and planning are useful activities when it comes to skills development. For more about having the difficult conversation go to my blog posting “Having the Difficult Conversation.”

Most organizations aspire to a collaborative team environment. Few succeed in developing one. There are skills such a listening, practicing empathy, and giving useful feedback that are inherent in high-functioning collaborative teams and learnable by others. It takes commitment from top leaders as well as employees to reach this gold standard of interaction and problem solving — collaboration.