Much can be learned from parenting. I’m always amazed at how seemingly good parents find it hard to apply those skills with their employees. As a successful parent, you are…
Checking-in. Regardless of the age of your offspring, you have a way of checking-in and checking-up on them for safety, guidance, and to demonstrate you care. Yet, many managers operate on a “as needed” basis. This often means “almost never” or at the peak of a problem. Successful employee relations depend on regular meetings — structured or casual, they could be every few hours, days, or weeks but they need to happen. Often the most productive times are when both participants initially think there is not much to talk about. That’s when good ideas start and relationships deepen.
Scheduling time. Children thrive within the routine of their lives. There is an adult version — scheduling time together. That means putting it on the calendar whether for brainstorming, talking about staff challenges, discussing next career steps, or chatting over coffee about everything but work, there needs to be time set aside, dedicated to this two-person team. Left open-ended, it will never happen and days become months, and suddenly you’re at another measurement period with the same results — unfulfilled promises and good intentions.
Show interest in their interests. I’ve learned plenty about the world from the younger members of my family. I’m curious who they are following online, what they are listening to, even their idea of a dream vacation. I want to know the same thing about the people who work for and with me. It broadens my scope and deepens our bond. Makes casual small talk easier and far more interesting. Showing interest means you listen. This is not a competition of who knows what; it is a way of finding common ground, to see the human in the person you work with daily.
Imagine a different track. Adolescents are bombarded with questions from everyone about their next steps in life. Sometimes they resent them but I often see with the right tone and tact it helps them consider options and maybe even listen to the experience of others. Early in my career, a senior executive asked me, “What do you want to do in the future?” I was taken aback, surprised she cared. I blurted out something about aspiring to her job. It made me think and gave me permission to re-approach and get some solid advice from a person I greatly respected. Can’t say that happened many more times over the course of my careers but it did teach me to ask the question to the kids and my employees.
Give them an experience to remember. Good parents spend vast amounts of time, money, and energy on getting new and enriching experiences for their children. Camps, travel, lessons, different schools, tutors, and coaches — the list is endless. But how often do we design new experiences for our staff? Not a day off-site but the opportunity to try something new, to move in another circle of people, to get the chance to test whether that dream could be a reality. Not very often I would think. I know we rarely think about it when considering how to accelerate, retain, or test a high potential person. Why can’t we apply the same mindset we use with children in the workplace? We could.
Encourage them to do better than you. Most good parents want only the best for their sons and daughters. While we might have moments of envy, we would never get in the way of their success. We encourage. Do we behave the same way with our staff or does it seem foolish, are we uncomfortable, fearful of building a monster? Whatever the reason, it seems shortsighted and small-minded, something good parents would not do.
Never threaten. While we’ve all had our moments, no decent caretaker would say to a child, “If you don’t like it leave (and mean it)!” Yet, I hear it regularly in offices. “If they don’t like the way things are, they can pack their stuff up and head for the door.” Really? Is that the solution to when people don’t agree with you? Or, when they complain about something you either don’t want to deal with or don’t know how to fix? Are you sure you’re right? Do you have a replacement for this so-called trouble maker? It’s the easy way out. It shuts off the dialogue and puts many people and things at risk. What leaders don’t often appreciate is the witnesses to these events many times are planning their own exits. Who should be leaving? Look up.
I’m a big believer in transferring the lessons learned in one part of your life into another. Parenting is often the hardest job you will ever have. Master that and the workplace seems easy. Which is why if you can take those skills to the job, you could be doubly blessed.
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