No one is indispensable, especially at work. I promise you. But many of us need to feel we are irreplaceable or unique, or surely act as if it were true.
In his best-selling book, “What Got You Here Won’t Get You There,” executive coach to the elite, Marshal Goldsmith, lists 20 behaviors rising leaders exhibit that hinder performance and destroy a positive and productive work culture. One of those traits is adding too much value.
The most obvious manifestation of this trait is needing to have the last word or comment. The behavior is easy to spot in parents who literally speak for their children, do their school projects, or correct every idea when the kid is quite capable. It might be subtler in the office but it is as prevalent.
In the workplace, it’s the leader who always adds a “but” or “also” to every suggestion, observation, or idea delivered by anyone but them. They are the conversation killers who focus on minute details and corrections, taking the focus off the substance and back into the weeds, and about them.
They are the ones who interrupt frequently in a way that says, “I’m here!”, “I’m smart!”, and implying “I know more than you do.” It has a competitive feel to it as well as being distracting and annoying to everyone. The amount contributed is minuscule compared to the damage done.
In the more collaborative work environments many organizations are striving to achieve, this type of intellectual bullying seems dated and destructive. Of course, most staff tolerate it because there is still a hierarchy and they are not going to risk annoying the boss. The bravest of the group sticks to his/her guns; most employees remain silent, or sidebar with peers outside of the view of the boss. This is extremely dangerous to a team. The lack of honest and open dialogue is an idea killer. It does not encourage risk taking, trust building, and never allows talent to shine.
The payoff for changing the behavior is less stress on the leader, allows for new ideas to come from fresh minds, and brings cohesiveness to the team. So why would anyone not do it? Habit and ego come to mind.
I encourage all my executive coaching clients to practice WAIT — Why Am I Talking? It is an excellent preventative from jumping in to rescue, one-upmanship, or merely listening to yourself behavior.
Are you the person adding value when it is not needed or wanted? Consider going on a listening tour for a week. Contribute little and listen intensely and deeply. Measure the difference in you and the reactions of others.
If you are the recipient of this type of person’s ego fests, make sure you are knowledgeable and confident when you speak, but speak up. Smart leaders like and respect smart employees. If they don’t want to hear what you have to say, maybe someone, somewhere else would.
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