You’re trying to change another‘s behavior primarily because it’s driving you crazy and secondarily it might actually help him or her function better in the world, or at least at work. Our natural inclination is to point out the maladaptation, probably a number of times, potentially nagging or getting angry. Of course all of these attempts are immediate or long-term failures inciting nothing more than frustration and possibly resentment in both parties. What’s an alternative? [Read more…]
Conflict Resolution Toolbox
Constructive conflict is an essential part of any team, group, or partnership dynamic. If people do not disagree or come to the table with a variety of perspectives and their unique set of values, battles would eschew, new ideas would not flourish, and creativity would be stifled. [Read more…]
Are You a Winner Who Cannot Lose?
I was struck by the “Editor’s Letter” in February’s Vanity Fair. Graydon Carter wrote about the temperaments and actions of two modern day presidents. It made me think.
According to Carter when Bill Clinton plays golf he takes a high number of mulligans and often hits two balls for every shot, accepting the best lie as his own. He supposedly has a generous view of the line in tennis. George W is known for refusing to lose. When it was clear the game was not going his way he’d insist on changing a best of two tennis matches to best of three. As a child he had to be physically taken off the golf course because of his cursing and acting out when the shots weren’t going his way. Do any of us really change? Want to read the entire piece? Go to Vanity Fair. [Read more…]
Advance Your Career: Get Out of Your Comfort Zone
As I see it, there are really three places you can exist in your career—Comfort, Growth, or Fear zones. As the visuals show, they co-exist in varying proportions depending on a number of factors. FYI—I have intentionally left out stagnation in this model as I think it’s a topic all its own.
Let’s assess where you are. Take a look at the graphic with the three ovals, then think of a work issue, your current status, or even take a bird’s eye view of the recent past. Ask yourself “Where am I?” “Am I operating mostly in my comfort zone?” You know the comfort zone—the place where there are no surprises, few challenges, not too much pressure, and a tolerable pace. Before you scream “I wish!” Think about it as a day-in, day-out routine. It’s easy to tolerate especially if you have personal and family challenges pounding in your brain and pulling at your sleeve. If you happen to have an inattentive, not demanding boss, it’s all the easier. So maybe for a time a slow, predictable period is desirable but long-term it’s a recipe for disaster. [Read more…]
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