My Boss is Crazy! — What Can I Do?

My boss is crazy – what can I do?

“He’s driving me crazy!” “The woman is toxic!” “How can I get anything done with this maniac?”

Is your boss crazy? Maybe, but not likely. What is crazy is his/her behavior and you are often the spectator, recipient, and target of much of their acting out.

Who are these people? (We’ll look at two common types.)

Why do they behave like this? (We’ll look at triggers.)

And, most importantly, what can you do? (Ideas below.)

The Narcissist: This manager is the self-absorbed person who thinks everything is about them. Their problems are more important, needs are unrelenting, and “I” is their favorite word. Empathy does not exist; they are too focused on themselves to care about you.

At times this crazy boss can be interesting, even entertaining, but mostly they exhaust everyone with their drama. Place them at a high enough level and they become difficult to control and are generally tolerated. They feel entitled to what they have (and you have) and display little sense of duty to anyone. Because of this, they fail to mentor staff and rarely advocate for them (unless your accomplishments would make them look better).

You might think they have self-confidence. The truth is they lack confidence and self-awareness, and their behavior towards you is a foolish attempt to gain it. To prove to themselves they are special they will take credit for your work and wins. Because they are craving attention, they demand an enormous amount of your time, soliciting the praise they need.

Narcissists exist at all levels and sectors of the workplace. Do not engage in their crazy behavior. You can’t call them out and flattery will never be enough. Stick to facts. Guard your time as they can eat up hours with their tales and complaints. Never make them look bad. You will never hear the end of it, and they can be vicious.

Reward yourself, in word and action, on a regular basis. You need the accolades, and they aren’t going to come from your supervisor.

Coaching colleagues of mine, Katherine Crowley and Kathi Elster, wrote “Working with You is Killing Me” (since then they also wrote “Working for You Isn’t Working for Me” and “Mean Girls at Work”). In the first book they clearly laid out how to handle various negative behaviors in the workplace and how you can address and deal with it and them.

Crowley and Elster offer ways to deal with crazy bosses without damaging yourself. The authors’ approach identifies — physical, mental, verbal, and active ways of addressing bad behavior. They encourage you to physically calm down before getting into the fray. An actor’s trick is to plant your feet firmly into the floor. This simple, invisible, action makes you feel grounded and powerful.

Amy Cuddy speaks of the act often.

Mentally you need to take a real look at the crazy boss’s request, demand, or overall behavior. Is it logical? (Probably not). Doable? (Maybe, but at a high price). For the good of the group or you? (Absolutely not). Attempt to step back, viewing this in the third person.

Next is the verbal approach. Focus exclusively on the specific, current, behavior. Be careful and protect yourself. Your words will fly back at you immediately and in the future. Regarding protecting yourself, documenting, keeping records, and memorializing your conversations is important. An email listing the decisions made, omitting the slings and arrows. will give you some safety.

Another Type of Crazy Boss

The Forever Anxious: This manager worries to worry (just in case). Everything is on the verge of calamity or pain. The glass isn’t just half empty but is full of poison and ready to tip over any minute.

They micromanage staff asking repeatedly for more data, revisions, updates, and reassurances. They cannot encourage because they are focused on what could happen. They need to feel in control. Because you report to this crazy boss you work longer hours and spend a ridiculous amount of time on minor issues and details. Projects will be overworked for fear of a mistake often losing the real purpose in the volume.

Health problems plague the forever anxious leader. Headaches, stomach pain, and frequent “mysterious” illness are common. Because they are sure things will fall apart, they come to work ill and infect others.

The forever anxious leader’s view of the world can also be contagious, especially if you are more junior or new to the company. You may find yourself taking the stress home, losing sleep. It is not your responsibility to cure this person, don’t even try. You are the employee, not their therapist. Protect yourself — detach and depersonalize.

What you can do is change your reaction by looking at the behavior for what it is. Become aware of the triggers to avoid with your crazy boss’s behavior. Most likely things being viewed by more senior people will be his/her biggest stressor. If grammar is a flash point, use your grammar correction app.Never feed their anxiety with bad news or fears. Even if you think something could go wrong, don’t discuss it in negative words or tone. Stay factual and neutral.

Set limits when it comes to working time. Give your supervisor a choice as to what should be handled first and what can wait or be reduced or eliminated. (Don’t be surprised if they say everything is “essential.”) Limit your time together. The more you meet the more useless work will be placed in your lap.

Acquire a mentor who knows your boss’s behavior. It could be useful for a regular sanity check. Interactions with your boss’s boss is always helpful for your career and may give you a more realistic view of what is needed and expected.

Working for a narcissist and/or a forever anxious boss can be more work than the work itself. There are behaviors and actions you can take physically, mentally, verbally, and steps that can help you cope. Of course, there is always the other option — look for another position internally or outside your current employer. It is possible and needs to be considered very seriously before making a move.