Loneliness in the Workplace

Since the industrial revolution, when many people left the family farm or emigrated from a foreign rural countryside to urban environs, people worked in groups. These consisted of others, like themselves, they saw every day for years. The iconic photo of steel workers enjoying lunch together while sitting on a steel beam high above the streets of New York first tests our fear of heights and then rests with the comradery of people who rely on one another for safety and companionship. They are work buddies, no sign of loneliness.

Fast forward to today’s workplace. I have several executive coaching clients who manage staffs thousands of miles from their desks. They have little or no communication with most of the team (surely don’t know their faces) and if they do need to converse, it is always through a messaging system like Slack or e-mail. There is interaction of sorts, but little human contact.

Working remotely has brought many advantages — reducing commuting time, allowing parents to attend daytime school events of their children, afforded the quiet environment needed for the deep think.

It also encourages loneliness. Forty percent of workers who exclusively work remotely report loneliness as being a major issue. What distance working does is limits face-to-face interaction and casual encounters. Research tells us these employees are less committed, less connected to the organization, more likely to report burn-out, have lower productivity, and quit their jobs more often. It’s clear people are beginning to feel the impact of workplace loneliness as more people are returning to the office, even if only part-time, after testing working from home.

How can individuals and organizations combat loneliness in the workplace?

Casual encounters: I am a big advocate of this simple behavior. Take a different route to the bathroom or the elevator. Walk the office floor space looking for someone and simply say “hi.”

Greetings and observations: It’s shocking how few people say, “good morning” or “have a great weekend.” They see it as trivial, but it isn’t and brings big results.

Shared purpose: Leaders need to share the mission and values of the team on a regular basis. If asked, “why are we here?”, there should be a similar reply by everyone.

Kindness goes a long way: Offer to bring a colleague some water. Ask if you can help with something. Share a laugh.

Encourage relationships: Management needs to provide situations and activities that bring people together. Celebrate birthdays, have a group plan for the next holiday party. It doesn’t matter what it is, just that it happens.

Onboarding: Loneliness in the workplace can start when a person first enters the office. Make sure to introduce and welcome new employees. Use the buddy system, so they have connections from day one.

Conference call participants: Too often people are observers on conference calls. They’re rarely asked to participate. Change the dynamic, so everyone is a contributor.

Survey the team for loneliness: Twelve Step programs use the word HALT as a warning for when someone might be having trouble. It stands for hungry, angry, lonely, tired, and can easily be applied in the office. If a member of your team or a colleague is exhibiting any or all these traits, address it early. I don’t mean pry but tell them if you’re concerned and ask if you can help. Often the act of caring makes a difference.

Lonely in a crowd: Just because 10,000 people work at your company doesn’t mean they aren’t lonely and in need of engagement. This can be especially true with more senior leaders. The phrase “lonely at the top” has considerable truth. Few people want to be a team of one. Be a relationship advocate and leader.

Don’t assume: The belief was that open workspace would encourage more collaboration. It didn’t happen. Because group-living proved to be distracting, people isolated more into their computers, headsets, and smart phones.

Use the phone: I know many desks no longer have phones. However, if your desk has one, try calling a co-worker. Your voice shares tone accurately and tells urgency. It also is human contact. Tim Cook, Chief Executive of Apple, spoke of a new feature on iPhones. It measures how and how often you use your smart phone by category. He was surprised by his own amount of use, asking, “Was this necessary?” He wondered how he could have better spent the time. He’s right.

Loneliness in the workplace is at a critical juncture. Changes in how and where we work have contributed to this epidemic. There are many simple, easy, attitudes and behaviors that can be used to combat the problem and bring people and organizations together.