Oh! I’m probably going to get pushback on this article (I’m ready for it). I am stating, flat out, this is not a scientific study. It’s observations I have made over the 20 years I have been coaching executive women.
The other day I had the privilege of sitting with the CEO of the Girl Scouts of Greater New York. The Council serves 30,000 girls on a $7 million budget, almost half of which is raised by young girls selling cookies. Not a bad ROI from an unskilled labor force, yes?
When I was a Girl Scout, we worked on crafts, home skills like sewing and cooking, and went camping. The reason for belonging was to be with friends and make new ones. We sold cookies door-to-door to people we knew. Selling 50 boxes was a triumph. No one mentioned careers or success.
Today there are STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, and Mathematics) initiatives, cookie selling focused on entrepreneurship (an 11 year old sold 15,000 boxes on the Internet with a clever rating system for the product). Camping now has an environment and conservation bent while you learn to swim and sail. These are but a few obvious and necessary changes.
During our conversation the CEO asked me, “What do you see in successful executive women that we can teach our girls, so they can succeed in their chosen careers?”
The answer came so quickly to me I was a bit taken aback.
Here’s what I said, “They need to stop talking like girls, I mean, females.” I related how I often coach highly educated, very successful executive women who use what I call the terrible four-letter words — just and only. “I was just a good student,” “I only exceeded my target a bit more than anyone else.” Keep in mind the first person was in the top 5% of an Ivy League graduating class and the second woman blew away the competition in her division.
Women minimize their achievements with qualifying and light-weight terms. They often fail to take credit for their achievements and give them away to minor participants, under the guise of being a team player. This is not accurate or necessary.
Many executive women use weak phrases and words — responsible for, manage, participate in, instead of in-charge of, lead, and collaborate. Read their resumes and you think they are in lower level positions, with less talent and experience than is fact. When I push them to state reality, they are often embarrassed and hesitant; fearful of looking like a braggart or too self-centered. They often don’t believe their own accomplishments. I assure them most men have no trouble blowing their own horns and a few take the credit for things they have never achieved.
The second point I stressed to the CEO is women (and girls) need to talk about results rather than the process. What happened because you did such and such is not what gets you promoted. Think — did it make the organization money? Save them money? Find time and efficiencies? Get them closer to the stated goals and mission? Or, bring prestige to the organization? Working hard is admirable but it is not why people get moved up to the next level. Women often stress effort over results. Working hard is good but not always smart. Executive women won’t be rewarded for effort.
How can today’s women change this dynamic, so more of the next generation are in decisionmaking roles? The first is monitor language. Catch yourself, and those you mentor, using weak verbs and qualifiers. Throw them away and replace them with more direct and pointed terms. Don’t look indecisive and weak.
Open with a powerful first sentence that gets the listener to say, “Tell me more.” Share the outcome first and then give the details on how you got there.
For all of us to succeed, whether we are a man or a woman, we need to strengthen and empower all members of the workforce. Some simple changes such as language and emphasis on outcomes can begin to make the difference.
Thin mint anyone?
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