More than a few times this month an executive coaching client of mine said, “I wish I knew where I stood with my boss and how I am viewed by other decision makers.” I’m sure a number of other people were seeking feedback and thinking the same thing, though they may not have expressed it so specifically.
My simple answer is, “ask.”
The question that follows is, “How?” and “When?”
The elimination of formal performance evaluations is trending at the present time. Maybe this is a good thing since the current process is often static, time consuming, and not very forward-focused. I would be all-in for getting rid of them with one essential caveat — as long as people seeking feedback receive it on a regular basis and it is focused on their development and potential, along with the quality and quantity of their work.
Working on the belief that a performance evaluation should be a consultation not a revelation, frequent feedback makes more sense and is inherently fairer. Since immediate news is generally more useful than historical data, why would someone wait?
For many people it is difficult to have this kind of conversation, whether they are a staff member or the supervisor. Failure to see the intrinsic value as a motivation and retention device, and relationship builder is prevalent. Often senior management sets a bad example by either not providing feedback or doing it in a way that it appears optional or frivolous. There are also times when the supervisor fears the supervisee will turn the table or make the meeting a gripe session.
When is the best time for seeking feedback? The answer is somewhere between yesterday and now.
Some Potential Opportunities for Seeking Feedback Are
For new employees, at the 30, 60, or 90-day points.
For everyone, the beginning or end of a quarter, year, cycle, or project, as well as when grants have been earned or new funding has become available.
Prior, during, or after a regime change, or a merger or acquisition.
Rumors are in the air and you want/need qualification and a sense of the impact it will have on your aspirations.
Your supervisor’s tone or emphasis has changed.
A vacancy has been created in a position you want; you’re up for promotion or a lateral move to a new area.
These are only a few of the opportunities for seeking feedback. There are many more.
How does one prep for such a conversation (yes you need to prepare, never wing-it).
Essential Steps to Having the Feedback Conversation
Get on the calendar — no fly-bys. No “catch me when you can.” Inform the person you want to talk and get his or her advice about your career. Without this warning, the conversation could easily switch into a day-to-day catch-up.
Prepare what you want to ask and have some open-ended questions for the person on the other side of the desk.
Promise yourself this will not be an interrogation by either party and you will not put the listener on the defensive — this is not a competition.
Figure out what’s in it for them, the organization as well as you — say it.
Talk future-forward — what next month, year, and beyond will look like.
Promise yourself you will not disparage others. Take the high ground. You deserve what you want because of your contributions not others shortcomings.
Speak with loyalty. Hold on to your integrity.
Never threaten to leave. They just might invite you to do so. It sours the relationship. No one wants to feel unwanted.
Talk about potential and what can be accomplished. This is not a compensation discussion. That is for another day and should be the results.
Make no rash judgments or moves.
Listen, listen, and actively listen.
Thank the person for his or her insights.
Promise yourself this will not be the last time you have a conversation.
For most people the hardest part of this is the initial ask. The longer you wait the harder and more anxiety-provoking it gets.
Done properly, it strengthens your relationship and plants a seed that might not have been considered.
It helps both of you get out of the weeds and think about the future.
Seeking feedback and receiving it is an essential part of managing and growing your career, and your role, in an organization. In many places it is seen as another task or waste of time. It isn’t and can’t be. Considering a few of the suggestions regarding the when and the how you will position yourself, put your career on the radar, and enhance your relationship with your supervisor and higher-ups.
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