Do you find yourself always advocating for your staff, customers, even your kids? But, when it comes to getting the recognition you deserve and negotiating for yourself tangible outcomes such as compensation, that overdue promotion, or relief from an untenable situation, you somehow feel uneasy, unworthy, or unprepared.
You’re not alone. Many successful leaders find it hard to advocate and negotiate for the enterprise known as “me.” They wonder if it will be held against them, they’re fearful they might fail, or they will be labeled as “not a team player.”
The obvious times to bring up such issues are when you first are considering a job or promotion, during the self-evaluation and performance review process, and when you are working on a project that is crucial to the organization. But what if none of these opportunities present themselves?
Deborah Kolb, a co-founder of the Center for Gender in Organization at Simmons College, School of Management, identifies in the November 2015 issue of the Harvard Business Review, what she calls “lower case negotiations” (as opposed to Negotiations).
The author states many of us fail to see “some routine situations… that cry out bargaining.” For example — you are asked to cover for a colleague who is on medical leave, yet it is assumed you will continue to handle your primary responsibility as well. The question you should be asking yourself and strategizing a positive outcome for might answer questions such as, “What resources do I need with regard to staff and budget?” Another is, “What’s in it for me,” (though you might be a bit more delicate in the phrasing), and “Will anyone acknowledge or remember this contribution?” I guarantee little will happen if you don’t consider these questions, or worse, say nothing.
When negotiating for yourself, the desired result is for everyone at the table to feel they have won something. You must show in clear, accurate, and professional terms that you have given your request great thought and consideration from all perspectives. Ask yourself, “What is my value proposition? “What will my efforts do for the organization?” Has it delivered profits, opened new income streams or customers, brought prestige or recognition to the company? And, as important, how will it bring your boss the results needed with no added effort?
Give the person on the other side options — offer to take on the assignment for a short period of time as a test, get buy-in for a salary re-evaluation out of the present cycle, gain access to resources formerly unavailable to you. On the other hand, if you ask for two more in staff, offer to have one permanent and the other a freelancer or intern, accept an interim title with the promise of elevation with success. Never make it an “all or nothing” and force the person to defensively say “no.”
It is imperative you know your audience — how they think and how they communicate. Shape your request to fit their needs as well as your own. If multiple layers of buy-in are needed to achieve the outcome you want, custom tailor each presentation so the date-driven, or rules-oriented, or the visionary leader, all see the value of your argument.
Negotiators need advocates — people who will vouch for your worth and also share with the decision makers the risks of not giving you what you deserve. (“Sure we can say no but if he leaves his entire team will follow him and then we’re really stuck.”) An advocate can show the added value, “This move would not only make her happy but an internal promotion shows we are committed to the people we have and that helps morale and motivation.”
I tell my executive coaching clients “everything is negotiable.” And that is often the case. The challenge is to know the “what,” the “when,” and the “who” that can help you get there. What I am positive is if you don’t start advocating and negotiating for yourself, and have a career strategy in place, you are missing the opportunity to advance, grow, and get closer to what you really want and deserve.
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